i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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