So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
