kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
cat food counts as protein by the way
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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