Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize