we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize