Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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