apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
