4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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