sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
