I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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