i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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