Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
