I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
