The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
