If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Four minutes until I can fart!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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