wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
