the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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