Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
