BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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