What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize