Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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