Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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