He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
