You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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