we have pet lesbian snakes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize