Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
