Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
