i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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