He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
