Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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