took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize