thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize