He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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