I want to stick my p in your. b.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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