Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
