It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
