Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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