dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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