That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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