i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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