i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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