This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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