I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
