those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
