no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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