did you get engaged???
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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