I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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