I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
