Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
