Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize