No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
