The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
