I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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