I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
