she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
