Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
