Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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