Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
