In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
