no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
