I will die if light touches me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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