Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
