after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
