return my video game
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
