ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
