Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
