I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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