Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
