I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
