my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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