Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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