I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
